I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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