Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
