i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize