You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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