i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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