ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
