I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
