and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
