I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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