How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
