I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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