I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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