all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
