He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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