Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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