i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize