so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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