yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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