ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
