Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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