Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
