i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this will be a night to untag.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
