I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize