I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
