I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
