no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
