I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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