whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
