Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
