Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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