Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Please, let me fuck your mom
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
