omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
