I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
