From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
