i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
