Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
