I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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