Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
