Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
