i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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