Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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