I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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