I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
