Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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