two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
