you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
