but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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