remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
