My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
