dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
