And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
