okay pat passed out under dana's car
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
