if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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