you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
