Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I supernannyed him into submission
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
