"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
