I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
