This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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